PIRATES OF THE BURNING SEA FREE TRIALS

Avast ye scurvey... uh... people. (We never got a handle on that talk-like-a-pirate thing.) We've just come across some somewhat exciting news that you may find interesting. Stand by for this exciting news from the world or piracy.

But let's first take a moment to ponder the works of Roman poet, Ovid. Commonly referred to as one of the 3 canonical poets of Latin literature, we've always found him to be far the superior to Horace, but not worthy enough to lick Virgil's taint. And all you Horace lovers out there better not try anything fancy cause we just got a whole new batch of tasers and we're not afraid to use em. So suck it.

Now, back to our usual MMO-world updates. It looks like the makers of PoTBS have finally wised up and given would-be pirates a chance to play their excellent game without having to fork over the cash. Word is that the new update of Pirates of the Burning Sea will also allow for a free-trial period.

This means everyone can enjoy the truly transcendent (not transcendental) experience of running a someone through with a rapier or blowing them out of the water with bronze-shot from 50-yards away.

Isn't life grand?

(And yeah, the picture is from Buckaroo Banzai.)

Reports of my death have been mildly exagerated. Part 2

So we've blogged several times about the death of Star Trek Online, but it appears as if there has been some kind of resurrection, or revival, or, dare we say it... next generation?

Okay, that wasn't as witty as we thought, but give us a break. I mean, how many of you can come up with something like this post? How many? Zero! That's how many. So suck one, loyal reader!

Ok, sorry. We're a little off-kilter. We don't like things that go away and then come back, only to possibly not really come back again. (We have stalker issues. And we fear change.) Anyway, reports are that Star Trek Online may not really be dead, or at least not totally dead. We've always liked the idea of Star Trek Online. It has an already established fan base and lots of good stories. Good stories, that is, with the exception of all the lame-ass "Oh-no, the holodeck is broken again!" episodes. I mean, come on. How hard is it to fix that thing anyway?

But, our job is to keep you informed and that's what we're doing. So all you Trekkers out there can go to bed tonight with a little more hope than you had when you woke up today. Isn't that nice?

AoC Griefing Vid

We just had to post this video because it really made us laugh. Yeah, we like AoC, and if someone did this to us while we played, we'd be really pissed. But the video is classic.

Enjoy.

Starcraft MMO by 2009?

Uh...exqueze me? Baking powder?

Did you say a Starcraft MMO in 2009?

As in...(and I'm no math expert)... like in a year?

New reports seem to indicate that the much talked about Starcraft MMO will be out sometimes in 2009. For real.

Ok, I know you guys at Blizzard are ambitious and all, and seriously, why rest on your laurels when you already have an MMO that pretty much pwns every other game out there in terms of number of players, exposure and kajillions of dollars income. But...but my Gawd! Give a guy a chance to try out AoC or at least PoTBS for a little longer. I mean, do you people really want me to spend the rest of my life with the after-image of an MMO screen permanently etched onto my retinas? Or corneas? Or whatever the hell you call those things in my head I use to see with but can't seem to close because I'm only 4 bars away from leveling?

(Was that last sentence a question? Do I even know anymore?)

Sci-Fi Channel MMO

Reports from the world of basic-cable seem to indicate that the Sci-Fi channel is developing an MMO/TV-Show/Cyborg-killing machine (Ok, we made that last slash up) that will have players interacting with the game and changing the story line. Teaming up writers and game developers, the MMO is set for launch in 2010, and will be set on earth 100 years from now.

It sounds interesting, and we hope Sci-Fi can pull it off. But a game that is also a TV-show and has gamers influencing the story line sounds a little off to us. Given our less than optimal opinion of the average MMO gamer, we're wondering what twists the TV-show's story will take if it's allowed to be influenced by the gamers.

It reminds us of that scene in Stand by Me where Gordy tells the story of Lardass and how he got his revenge on the pie eating contest crowd. After Gordy gets done telling the story of how the kid who was always picked on gets his sweet vengance, Teddy asks what happens next. When Gordy doesn't have an answer, Teddy says:

"Geez, that ending sucks! Why don't you make it so that ... so that Lardass goes home and he shoots his father, then he runs away an', and he joins the Texas Rangers. How about that?"

Maybe it's just us, but having mmo-gamers write your tv-show for you could be something less than a great idea.

Enough Talk!

Okay, okay, we know it's been a while since our last post. But you gotta give us a break. I mean, Grand Theft Auto, Wii fit and now Age of Conan.

There's only so much a gamer can take before going into a semi-catatonic state punctuated only by gaming induced epileptic seizures. Speaking of which, does anyone know a doctor who specializes in epileptic seizures?

Anyway, we're here to tell you we're back to MMO gaming posts, and thus we bring you... CONAN!

Seriously, we never thought any game would get close to challenging WoW, but that was before we played AoC. I don't want to say AoC did well, but 400,000 subscribers in the first month haven't been seen in an MMO release since, well, EVER! And all you loyal readers know we're not prone to hyperbole or gross over-exaggeration, so you can be completely reassured when we tell you that Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures is probably the best thing since the invention of things. Or possible fire.

There, we've said it. Now if you'll excuse us, we have some serious gaming to do.

KRAM!